Dear Discouraged Dreamer

Maybe you’re like me and you go a bit crazy when you see something that seems terrific.  Something catastrophic happens whenever I like an idea. I get kind of obsessed with an idea, and it’s the only thing I can think about for a couple of days…or weeks.  It’s probably not healthy or maybe even normal.

When I was dreaming up what I wanted to do with my passion to tell stories, I was mulling around three words in my mind.

Inspire people, be creative because I need to have fun, but most of all find a way to empower people.  Empower…create…inspire.

CIE…ICE..ice media.

ICE MEDIA!! Boom.

 

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Immediately the ideas started pouring through my mind.  I imagined myself photographed next to one thousand semi melted ice cycles.

Or a camera and tripod raising up out of this giant ice glacier with beams of sunlight shooting through.

Or a line on my business card reading “Want to break the ice?”  

Maybe that’d be too forward.

That winter, anything the least bit icy became my obsessive creative expression.  I asked my talented photographer friend for icy photoshoots.

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Unfortunately it was so frigid outside, it became hard to move my arms.

The more ice I saw, the less sane I became.

It was like playing charades with the universe and anytime wintry weather came up, I had to guess what kind of hint that was toward launching my career.

Later that month I found a pond glazed over with beautiful ice chunks.

Without thinking I called my photographer friend telling her the grand news that I had a car loaded with 100% authentic ice, something about does she believe in providential timing? and scratch the idea of the leaf blower and ladder.

I was fully prepared for the most ethereal photoshoot of my life

 

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I’m not sure what’s more frightening — the fact that I hadn’t washed my hair in a week or that I was surviving mainly off of lime and salt tortilla chips at this time.

Now that I’ve had some time to think about it, I’m like …why do I do this?  Why do I go crazy over ideas?  Why do I get so ridiculously excited over something that’s just a dream…a hope…a wish…a vision?

Maybe you’re like me and you kind of live in this constant frustration of feeling like you can never make your real life match up with everything you have going on in your head and your heart.

Not to be too cheesy, but I think that’s okay.  It’s okay not to have the final thing look like whatever you had cooked up in your mind.  As I’m learning, passion is sloppy, oftentimes aggressive, but most of all, necessary for the dream to live.  If the passion is there (and a little more of the sanity) it’s okay to not have the final picture turn out how you were thinking.

It’s okay to go after it, and look very very chilled in the process.

6 thoughts on “Dear Discouraged Dreamer”

  1. Beautiful site Tori! Not sure how long you’ve been working to perfect your “dream” but your posts are dripping with passion and sincerity. Look forward to seeing your future projects!

      1. It seems farfetched and ridiculous. And also not in the direction I’m going. But it’s almost like my heart leaps out of my chest when I think about it.

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